This word surrounds me wherever I go and has for months. It’s everywhere I turn and dances around inside my head, stirring feelings, stirring thoughts, surfacing questions.
Authenticity. A simple yet quite evoking word.
It is also a very intimidating word, don’t you think? It’s become so widely used now that there is almost a hint of judgement behind it in some circles. How authentic is authentic enough? What if I make a choice that ends up not being the right one – will people think I wasn’t being authentic to myself?
As I try to live in my own personal authenticity – I am uncovering that being authentic doesn’t mean “never changing”. What resonates with us can change as sudden as the wind blowing through the trees and our hair.
Our human needs such as emotional, mental, physical can change and it’s okay. Our spiritual needs are no different – I am always learning something new, researching and trying to understand concepts, belief systems, healing modalities, and more that are new to me. I will never forget when I told my husband I wasn’t religious anymore – he just couldn’t fathom how after spending the majority of my life in resonance with the Holy Bible that I just wasn’t religious anymore.
After a very awakening trip to New Orleans – I began a path of discovery – questioning what I believed about life, myself, spirituality. I began to dig deeper into where these belief systems originated from and ask myself where I stood on certain aspects individually. I began to surround myself with people in circles that sparked my interest, my curiosity, and fed my soul in ways it hadn’t been fed before.
I found a spiritual center local to me and joined in on some of their sessions weekly – starting with what tools I might find on my new journey and how to use them to connect with divine energies. A friend and mentor, Jennifer, had highly recommended a book called “The Little Soul and The Sun, A Children’s Parable” by Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God and it had an overwhelming sense of resonation with me. I read it to my husband and my children and lightbulbs started to brighten for each of them.
Not everything I have come across on my adventure has resonated with me, and that is okay. It doesn’t make it untrue, it just means that is isn’t MY truth. Some of the modalities and tools that I have stuck with over the years include Shamanism, Gene Keys, Human Design, Reiki and other healing techniques, card reading, and more.
As a Certified Life Coach – I love using the tools I have learned to inspire personal growth and evolution. They aren’t a one size fits all and I love that even more. Life is not a one size fits all – it comes in all shapes, sizes and experiences. Some of my clients are spiritual, some of them are religious, some are indifferent and no matter what – we always tend to find the right adventure and methods for success together.
Unlocking our authenticity is a life long adventure. Our authenticity includes such large and robust aspects such as our spirituality/religious beliefs, our sexuality, our career path, parenting styles, love languages, and so, so much more. Sometimes, it’s not until we learn what we do not resonate with or like – that the discovery session truly begins to find what does.
I am a jack of all trades – this used to cause discomfort with me internally because I feared that it meant I wasn’t being true to myself. I felt that it came across as me ‘jumping” from one thing to the next and never committing to something in particular. My reality is that I love to learn and I love to share and through my many discoveries I have been able to evolve my strengths, uncover what I thought was a weakness and building upon those.
As I explore this 32nd Gene Key transit I review how the fear of failure has taken over at various points in my journey. The shadow of failure can be crippling if we allow it to be. It keeps us from being able to rise above the smoke and see whats happening from a higher viewpoint. How can we advance in any area of life if all we can see in front of us is weakness and those so harsh feelings of why it can’t work out.
I wanted to be a life coach and help others along the parts of their journey that made sense to them. I talked myself out of this for years. What if people didn’t see the value I knew I was able to provide? What if people laughed at me because it’s a silly dream to think that people would seek me out to help them with matters of the most importance. What if I couldn’t make enough money to support my growing family? I have been very successful in my corporate career and the thought of leaving all I had worked for behind was paralyzing at times. The truth became clear to me over time and through many sessions of journeying and meditating- I didn’t truly want to leave my career behind – I wanted to do it congruently with my passion of helping other people.
I had become convinced over time and through different channels and through different people that I had been working with that in order to build my business – I couldn’t do both and that I would have to draw the line in the sand at some point. Some of the people that I had partnered with or shared my passion with hated the corporate world and couldn’t get out soon enough and somehow their truth had commingled with mine making it a little murky and hard to find at all times.
I can think of many ways over my life that I managed to allow commingling to occur with various passions, desires, dreams and more. My parenting style is different than most around me, my belief system is not like that of my family’s, my coaching style is different, the ways in which I led others stood out largely in the work place, and if I wanted to stay in the shadows I could just allow myself to be the same as others – but there is zero authenticity in that choice.
Ways in which I believe we can continue to embrace our authenticity and uncover what makes us uniquely us include staying curious, write your story down, consciously check in with reality and out of emotion (frequently), get physical, acknowledge and transcend through your fear of conflict, and unplug.
Stay Curious. Always ask questions and do some research. If a topic brings emotion to the forefront, be that the emotion of excitement, doubt, peace, fear, or other, then dig into it. Uncover why that may be. Don’t let those emotions make assumptions on your behalf – respond in accordance to your Human Design Strategy and Authority. Be open to questioning yourself and be open to learning new things. I love learning more about the keys in my hologenic profile and my Human Design charts, learning more about my astrology birth charts, and more.
Write your story. Take some pen to paper, voice to the recorder, fingers to the keyboard and write out your story from your current perspective. Go as far back as you can remember. When I participated in my Soul Retrieval and when I assist others with their own Soul Retrievals – we start with a time line. If you don’t want to write your story in the traditional sense – or don’t know where to start – then make a time line on a piece of paper and start working from a memory. Go forwards and backwards on this time line as you allow your memories to flood back. Allow yourself to be honest. This practice will allow you to uncover what limitations you may have built for yourself, allow you to evaluate belief systems about yourself, your faith, your talents, and allow yourself to find hidden truths that you don’t let surface very often.
Check in with Reality. Leave emotions out on this one. Using the sound of your own voice or using tools to record what you are thinking – write down realities around what is happening around you. We want to focus on eliminating as much drama and assumption as possible. An example may be – “I am a flake because I am a jack of all trades.” Well – that’s the story I am telling myself, right? There is definite emotion behind that and perhaps a learned criticism because of comments I have heard along my path in regards to other people and don’t want to be viewed that way. First on my list of realities is that I love to learn, next is that I love to try new experiences and I love to meet new people and learn new perspectives. In reality – I have yet to flake out on anything because of this experience I have allowed myself to research and learn new things. In reality, no one has ever actually called me a flake.
Get physical. Dance, hit the pavement or the gym, get out in the garden or walk the dogs, change up some of the eating routines you have built around your current schedule. Tune into your physical body and get to know it better. Take time to figure out what brings your body joy and growth – is it focusing on your breath, movement through exercise of some kind, or something else entirely? I love to drum. I have a few drums that I have made during shamanic workshops that really put me in a bubble of joy and allow me to calm my mind from chaos and allow new perspectives and messages to flow through me.
Embrace the Conflict. Ouch. This one might hurt a lot. First step of embracing conflict would be getting out of your comfort zone. How can you use getting physical to help you transcend through some of the fears of potential conflict? Meditation, yoga, walking, running, gardening, all of these and many options not listed, can give you a starting point to clear your mind and allow yourself to create neural pathways to handle various situations that may have made you run the other way in the past. When we don’t allow ourselves to experience life with some risk involved we struggle to advance and learn more about who we really are and what we want.
Unplug. Well maybe this one is the hardest – can we just stick with embracing conflict instead?! Just kidding. Get away from all the things, people, places, and activities that never allow you peace of mind. Shut down all the notifications on your phone for a while, take a vacation, change up how you are spending your holidays if the people around you during that time stress you out, cancel an appointment that you are dreading and free yourself from the energy that it brings you. If nature is your jam- do it! Get out there and connect with Earth. If a spa is your thing – book it. Go succumb to the magic of a massage and all the self care you need. If you love music – go grab some tickets to a few shows in your area and loose yourself in the sounds and energies of the music you love.
These steps aren’t the end all, be all of developing and uncovering what it is to tap into your own authentic selves. The most important step is that you allow yourself the space, the time, and the honesty to explore who you are without expectation. If you find that people around you are not supporting your rediscovery – then surround yourself with those who do. This is the time to build your legacy – how can you build one without knowing who you are, what makes you joyful, what doesn’t, and without giving yourself the safe space to explore how that is changing moment by moment?
It’s never too late to make time to rediscover who you are. If today isn’t that day – I applaud you for making that conscious choice but I am also over here ready to nudge you forward when the time is right.
Sending so much love and light your way!
Shining Through the Shadows ~